I feel like I need one. I have no idea what happened. The Fall came (my favorite season) and I felt so energized and ready to tackle the world. Somewhere along the way my energy escaped me and I've been feeling a little blah and unmotivated.
I think it's because I have two pretty major things in my life that are a source of anxiety on almost a constant basis. I won't go into detail, but I am really feeling the pressure lately. I need to find a way to clear my head and deal with both things, but it's not easy. And neither of them have a quick or clear answer by any means.
Which leads me to another thing. I like to think that I am a fairly strong person. But when I have these situations arise, I start to feel like maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm weak and insecure. Maybe I don't stick up for things as much as I need to -- or assert myself more when I need to. I don't know. It's frustrating. Here I am, 37 years old -- certainly much more assertive than I was in my twenties, but still, always wanting to be the peacemaker, not wanting to create too many waves. Maybe I need to create waves. And then I need to learn how to weather them better.
Speaking of 37 -- I would like to state for the record that although I find it hard to believe I am closer to 40 than 30, I do like being in my 30s. I would never go back to my 20s for anything. I made so many bad choices in my 20s. But they were all learning experiences, so I guess I have to be thankful for that. But I really do think that women in general become so much more comfortable with who they are and their goals as they age. Do you agree? Even though I just said I feel like I need to be a stronger person, I do think I am much more grounded than I was in my 20s and more confident in myself. Not as confident as I'd like to be, but it certainly is better.
Well, I am off to accomplish something -- hopefully a lot of somethings today! Hopefully getting some check marks on my "to do" list will be a start to that kick in the pants I'm searching for!
Have a beautiful day my friends!
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5 comments:
Rita - I definitely agree! The 20's were great but I had so much to learn. I love where I'm at right now, and I just turned 35 in June. I had that thought as well "I'm closer to 40 than 30 now."
It's a weird feeling but I wouldn't want to go back.
As for feeling confident, I have my good and bad days as well. I've had so many people lately tell me how strong I am with all the pregnancy and family issues. And you know what, I don't feel it sometimes. I do doubt that I can handle things but some how always make through. Have confidence in yourself because to me, you do seem like a strong person.
I'm sorry you are having issues right now. I hope the answers you are looking for or your decisions turn out for the best. Have faith, girl!!!
Oh my gosh - I've missed your birthday! Happy belated birthday Rita!!!! And welcome to 37! I am sorry to hear that you have some things tugging at you right now. Sending you hugs and hoping you get through this period of anxiety soon! Myself - I think I am so strong in so many ways, but sometimes I have to remove myself from situations that are bad news. Guess I'm not so strong all the time - but that's ok with me. Sometimes it's worth it.
Anyway - I know these times can be tough. I can't pretend I have any idea what you're going through, but will be thinking of you!
(((((hugs!!!)))))
~cami
Have patience...I know its easier said then done but when I feel things are going out of control, I let them be, I try to be passive and let time decide what's best rather than rush to a conclusion...I don't know your situation but I am in the same boat mentally...and can feel for you. All the best.
This too shall pass.
Rita glad to see you blogging again, have missed you!! Happy birthday and I agree about the 30's its a great time. I hope what ever is going on in your life right now you get through... whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger as my mother always said... I too am going through a really rough patch at the moment so I just take each day as it comes and live that day the best i can.... hope all goes well.. sending hugs!
Rita-Bo-Bita....I hear you one the no energy thing...somethings going on because I have noticed alot of us have it... Your talk about 20 vs 30's thing reminds me of what Andy Rooney said...he finds women in the 40's much more attractive that women in their 20's. They are so much more sure of themselves, they know what they want and don't mind telling ya! It is very true...we DO get better with age! Hmmmm...like our red wine that we love so much! lol Hang in there!
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