Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Love the sinner, hate the sin

I try to remember this when someone, even someone who is hard to like, has upset me. It's a lesson I am having to remind my six-year old of these days.

I'm sure every child has had to face (or will have to at some point) something like this. My son has a girl in his class that is incredibly aggressive. Just really mean to the other kids. At least once a week (and usually more often!) he comes home with some story about the trouble she has caused. In fact, just about a week ago, the teacher had to call and tell me Ryan would be coming home with a big scratch on his neck. This little girl had CHOKED my son during PE class. Yesterday, she attacked five or six of her classmates -- hit Ryan in the face, bit another little girl, punched a third boy in the stomach.

Now, of course this is very upsetting to me. My DH gets angry and keeps asking me if he needs to "handle the situation". But what can you do? Obviously, the teachers realize there is a problem, and I assume (and hope) they do what they can to deal with it.

Ryan told me he hated this little girl. I have told him several times now to stay out of her way when she is acting out, but I also have tried to stress to him how important it is to try to be nice to her. I really have to wonder what is going on with this poor six year old girl that she is so angry and mean. I have told Ryan that maybe she has an unhappy home and she probably just needs people in her life to treat her nicely. But what a hard thing to expect of a six-year old when he is getting choked and punched!

I hope I'm making him understand. I try to make it clear to him that I do not in any way find it acceptable for her to treat him so badly, but I hope when I'm not there that he is doing his best to be patient with her.

It can be so overwhelming when you think about all the things we have to protect our kids from. And it's hard to watch them go through things that are hurtful. I know this is only the beginning.

As hard as it is, I do think you have to consider another person's perspective. Sometimes if I've had bad service somewhere or someone has been rude, I may get upset, but then I try to think -- what if this person is having a miserable day? What if they have a sick child or an abusive home life? You really just never know. And if we could all learn to be a little more patient with each other, maybe it would help -- even just a little. But I am just as guilty as anyone of losing patience and this ordeal with my son is a constant reminder to ME that I need to be sure to practice what I preach.

4 comments:

Mary Jo said...

Rita - I'm terribly sorry you are going through this! Especially your son. It's a tough situation for both parent and teacher. I remember having an aggressive student in my classroom who actually punched me in the stomach when I was pregnant. He was asked to leave (private school) but I know there was so much more going on there. You have the right attitude, but it doesn't hurt to "make sure" the school is doing something to address the issue. All children are entitled to feel safe and be unharmed while getting an education!

Christi said...

Wow! We are dealing with some issues like this, but my son is a lot older than yours...I would definitely talk to the teacher and possibly the principal. (((hugs)))

Stamped In Ink said...

It is so hard when our kids have to go through stuff like this Rita!
I think it is so awesome that you took the time to explain to him why she might be acting that way!
Hugs to you and your son!!

Sharon said...

Rita, I think you did a great job explaining whay the little girl may be acting out. What a wonderful example you are setting for you son. Its too bad kids have to go through these experiences.
Be Blessed