Has it seriously been a month???

I thought I was going to be better about posting on my blog, but somehow a month has passed. A few of you have let me know you miss my posts – thank you! That’s so sweet – and I’m sorry for being such a lazy, lazy blogger. I haven’t even made much time to read other blogs lately and I miss doing that.

I guess I haven’t felt compelled to write much lately. Not sure why. I’ve been feeling anxious a lot lately (like knots in my stomach anxious) and it makes it hard for me to focus on anything. I keep trying to step back and clear my head and just when I feel like things are clicking, something makes me anxious again. I hate that feeling. And I’m quite sure it’s not healthy.

Some of you are doing the Deck of Me challenges with Emily Falconbridge. I still plan to catch up at some point (I’m only 8 behind…it’s doable, right???). I think it was just last week that her prompt was to do one about someone or something you miss. And I know exactly what I would do my card about.

I miss the old me. I used to be so laid back – so easy going. People always used to tell me I smiled a lot. I’m not that laid back anymore. I feel like circumstances have changed me. I’m uptight a lot – uneasy – feel like I’m on my guard a lot. I hate it. I guess it’s up to me to change it, but that is easier said than done for so many reasons.

I probably sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m not. I have a great life in so many ways. My kids are amazing. I have wonderful relatives and friends. And I am grateful for my many blessings. I just wish I could change some things. I wish I could find the old me.

I will say the older, “wiser” me (not that I feel all that wise!) is more resilient for sure. And hopefully a little smarter and less worried about insignificant things.

Well – it appears I have rambled on and on when I thought I had nothing to say today (ha – that is so like me!). I will TRY to be a better blogger. I may even start posting quotes each day – just to get me in the habit of blogging again.

Hope you are enjoying the weekend! Until I post again – and I promise, it will be soon!