I was going through some of my pictures this morning and came across this photo of a fish at the zoo. It reminded me of myself a lot of the time. Feeling surrounded -- so much to do, just looking for a break in the chaos to catch my breath. Wondering how in the world I will get it all done. (Maybe if I give up blogging??? hee hee...)Aside from the day-to-day things, lately I've been realizing how little time I spend on focusing on my hopes and goals and how I will achieve them. I do spend a lot of time thinking about how nice it would be to do this or achieve that -- but I spend very little time actually DOING. Is it laziness? Or perhaps guilt for wanting to achieve something for myself? Lack of motivation? Fear? Frustration at the way things are going in my life right now? It's probably a combination of all of it. I think I let it paralyze me sometimes. It's ridiculous.
When I get like this I start to think to myself -- if I were gone tomorrow, what would I have to show for it? Would some of the things that cause me major stress really matter? Would my values and beliefs show through in my children? How would others remember me? Have I done a good job of portraying the things that are really important to me -- faith, kindness, learning, those types of things? Or would I be remembered as someone who never quite had her act together?
Sometimes it's a really big step from thinking - to actually doing. And sometimes, I guess we have to take baby steps to equal the big steps. It's all a matter of wanting badly enough to get the ball rolling -- and then finding a way to make it happen and following through.
Two of my very favorite movies are "Dead Poet's Society" and "The Shawshank Redemption". I think both of them have elements of sadness, but also a wonderful message of hope and belief. It's an overused saying now, but I remember seeing Dead Poet's and coming away with the phrase "carpe diem" (seize the day) resounding in my head. And in Shawshank, there's a line that says, "It's time to get busy living -- or get busy dying." It's a profound thought in its own way.
I hope whatever you are doing today, you are making time for yourself and what is important in your life.
Have a great day!
8 comments:
My name is Paula. I´m a great procastinator and a professional worrier.
That being said I find days get a better "shape" if I write two pages a day. Choose a size you are confortable with (A4 is too big, small diaries are too small for me) and write come hail or high water. Maybe just lists. Sometimes reflections, wishes.
I´ve got some things on my laptop you may find useful. I´ll link them next time I turn it on.
For now, keep going! *big smile and hug for you*
A good picture for me is a face asking my children, "what do you remember most about your mom?"
Whatever I'd like the answer to be, is what I need to do today.
I'm a fish, too, Rita.
I think we all feel that way. Just when I feel like I'm ahead of things, I get behind on something else. When I get that way, I look at my husband and children, and that has to say something for me. Thats what keeps me going.
Someone once told me that God is hard on us for a reason, so we come to him more.
You are a great friend, wife, mother, writer, and very crafty. Thats a lot of accomplishments and those balls are rolling every day.
What a beautiful post Rita and so very true for all of us to one degree or another. I write in my gratitude journal every night and most times it's something as simple as some cuddling with my kitty or DH and I getting to relax with a coffee in the evening. I know you love quotes as I do and here's one for you.."The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work"..unknown.
Great post, we all feel these things now and again. Sorry I have not been around much! Oh and your photos of the kiddies going to school is adorable.
Rita, I have been sitting here trying to figure out how to say this, but first...Kat just came in clapping and dancing because she likes the music on your blog...so cute and fun!
Now back to my original thoughts...I don't know if you realize the profound effect that you have had on the people around you. I have never met you in person, but I feel so lucky to "know" you and to count you among my friends. Your kindness and thoughtfulness are ALWAYS an inspiration to me and I only wish that I could be half as good of a friend as you are. You are truly a good soul and that shines through everything you do. ((((hugs)))) for you my friend!
smiles...
Beautiful post... very inspiring and thought provoking... love it!
Rita - your post really has me thinking! I think you and Shalini both get me thinging a lot! :0)
And I agree with you on so many levels, but sometimes I think we put so much, maybe to much pressure on ourselves.
And I completely agree with Christi! You really are such a kind, generous person and have a profound impact on many. Even just with your beautiful writing!
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