A New Chapter in My Book of Moral Teachings

Hmmm...where do I even begin with this post...

The other night, my oldest son was a horrible brat (and that is the nicest way to put it). Thank goodness I wasn't there to witness it first hand because I may have inadvertently caused an earthquake here in K-town with an explosion of my temper. It happened at soccer practice -- my husband coaches him -- and when they got home, Ryan looked at me with a face that said, "I am in big -- no, HUGE trouble!" When his dad asked him to tell me what he did, he moaned and begged to keep it between them, but that wasn't going to happen, so he told me the things (that's right, not one, but TWO big blunders) that he did.

The first one involved him yelling out to one of the boys during practice and making a joke about this boy's size/weight. (My son is not a tiny kid, so why he would do this is beyond me.) He says he did it to make the other boys laugh. WHAT!?!?! I was literally shocked...and horrified. I think my mouth dropped open when he told me and I know my eyes bugged out of my head. I was floored that my son was so mean. And to top it off, the boys were messing around after practice and my son decided to throw a handful of dirt at this very same boy to "be funny". He threw it at his head and got it in his eye, which I'm sure was very painful. He and this boy get along fine, so why my son decided to act so horribly is beyond me, but I was absolutely fuming! I cannot tell you the countless number of times I have had discussions with my kids about not hurting feelings and how making someone else the butt of your joke is never funny. It's just plain mean and disrespectful.

So here comes the part about the new chapter in my book. You can imagine that I spent the rest of the evening preaching to my son. Lucky for him it was a short evening because part of his punishment was he had to go straight to bed when he came home. I truly could not get over the shock of what he did. As Ryan was going to bed, I was sitting there with him, making sure he really understood why what he did was so wrong and trying to make a comparison for him to really get it.

Now, let me tell you that I grew up in a very strict Catholic house. I should have been able to reference something from my religious upbringing -- or even an example from my own childhood of a bad choice I made and the consequences (I can think of several now). But instead, I heard myself saying to my son....

(this is almost too embarrassing)

"Ryan, it's like that time on SpongeBob..." I went on to remind him of a time when SpongeBob was making squirrel jokes to make everyone laugh -- but one of his very best friends who is a squirrel was incredibly hurt by his actions.

The minute it was coming out of my mouth, my brain was screaming at me, "What in the world are you doing?? Referencing SpongeBob -- are you kidding me???" A part of me wanted to laugh -- and a part of me was stunned. Of all the things I could have said, I chose to refer to SpongeBob. Wow. But as I looked at Ryan and tried to focus, I realized a lightbulb had gone off in his head. My reference to the sponge was getting through and I could tell he knew exactly the point I was trying to make.

So for all of you good moms who are able to pull references from better and more meaningful sources, I applaud you. I think my brain has gone to mush -- or maybe we just watch far too much SpongeBob in this house. But I guess if my son got what I was saying, it really doesn't matter. The lesson is the important thing no matter where it comes from.

Which Came First...the Chicken or the Egg?

I have been pondering lately why I always feel like my life is completely...hmmm..."disheveled". I look around me and it looks like something exploded in my house. Clothes, shoes, papers upon papers needing to be filled out or filed away, mega amounts of art supplies and toys, toys, toys. Dust, leaves, grass, dirt tracked in on cleats and by the dog. Laundry that grows overnight. Days come, days go -- and not nearly enough is accomplished. Can you say Calgon, take me away?!?!?!? I am overwhelmed and end up wasting time because of it.

Sometimes I wonder if the way I feel inside is caused by what is on the outside -- or if it works the other way around. Am I feeling so disheveled because of my surroundings -- or is the way I'm feeling inside causing the lack of organization on the outside? Reminds me of the whole chicken or the egg question. Which causes the other? Or is it a combination of both and therefore it's just basically a big, vicious cycle that I can't seem to break. It's so frustrating.

Regardless of feeling buried in too many things and not having enough time or motivation, I am so grateful for my life. My children are such a blessing. I swear there are so many days I feel like I am completely failing as a mother -- but then a really great day will come along and I think, okay...maybe I'm doing something right. Maybe. Hopefully.

Anyway -- I realize I haven't been blogging or visiting or keeping in touch like I should. But I am here, just not very focused or organized. I hope all my blogging buddies are doing well and enjoying some peaceful days. Sooner or later I will find my peace -- inside and out.

As I leave, I thought I'd share some recent photos of what is occupying our time these days -- soccer, Easter, and a bonus picture of our pup Nola just because she's so cute. Ignore my windblown crazy hair -- my life is one constant bad hair day! :)

Enjoy your week!