I'm thinking...

I may delete my blog. Just because I've been really, really bad about updating it and just haven't been in the mood to blog in quite a while.

I'm still pondering -- I'll keep you posted! :)

Happy Holidays to all -- and many blessings to you throughout this coming year!

Life on a Desert Island...

Well, the first time I typed my title I put "dessert" island....oops! Although that wouldn't be so bad either! Ha!

Back to the desert island...last night my husband was playing a game with the kids. Asking, "If you had to go live on a desert island and could only bring one food to eat forever, what would it be?" My oldest opted for pizza -- my daughter picked Cheetos. I'm quite sure if my youngest could tell us, he would have chosen chicken nuggets. He then asked them a few more questions -- one was if they could take just one person, who would they choose. They all chose me. Isn't that the sweetest? They sure know how to make me smile!

Today, I would relish a desert island all by myself. My poor children have been sick (including the dog). I have them all home today and the youngest is much better and the other two are well on their way (I think -- don't want to jinx myself). I am pretty tired and unfortunately, slightly irritable. I'm trying really hard not to be, but it's just one of those days. I would love to have my house to myself for two days (heck, I'd take one!), just to "sterilize" it and try to get caught up on a few things. And how I would love some peace and quiet. Ahhhhh.....

(And please don't take this as me complaining. I'm not. Just thinking/dreaming out loud!)

And now, I hear my children screaming, so you are rid of me for today. Feel free to enjoy some peace and quiet in my honor -- I'm quite sure I'm not getting any!

Wa-Hoo! I Got It!

It finally found me...the holiday spirit is creeping up and I am borderline giddy!

We get to spend Christmas at home for once and although it does make me sad to think about not seeing our parents and the rest of the family, I am soooooo looking forward to experiencing a holiday at home -- enjoying the kids -- not rushing from here to there and spending countless hours on the road in the bitter cold.

So bring on that Christmas music and lets dig out the decorations...I'm finally ready!

Serious denial

Good Morning -- sorry to neglect my blog so much lately. I haven't been too much in the mood to babble aimlessly like I usually do! :)

On to my denial --

Lately, I've noticed the countdown to Christmas in different places -- on the news and what not. I wonder if they do that to stress us all out. I think they should just say -- "Hey, we know your lives are busy and crazy -- would you like one more thing to worry about?? You only have 38 more days to do a lot of stuff!"

I realize Christmas is extremely close and that it will be here before we know it. This time of year always flies by. That constant reminder that I'm probably not anywhere close to being done with all that needs to be accomplished is really not helpful. It gets me in my holiday panic mode sooner than I would like. Anyone with me on this one?

For now, I am not in too much of a panic. But I think it's because I'm in denial. Denial that Thanksgiving is next week already. Denial that I have Christmas cards and gifts to make. Denial that before I'm ready for it, a new year will be upon us. I'm just not feeling that holiday spirit yet. Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year, but right now, the thought of decorating, shopping, wrapping, Christmas music -- I'm not ready for any of it.

I'm just hoping that by next weekend, the excited anticipation I usually feel around the holidays strikes me. I need a little jolt to get me going -- and I don't want it to be from someone on TV telling me how little time there truly is before Christmas arrives!

And in case you think I'm forgetting what the season is really all about -- I'm not. I know all the "stuff" that makes us crazy this time of year isn't what's most important.

Alright -- I'm done rambling for today. I have two little munchkins demanding my attention.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Short and sweet -- or just plain short!

I have been a bad blogger lately -- not much to gab about I guess! So I thought I'd pop in and say a simple Good Morning and wish you a beautiful day!

I am also behind on reading blogs -- hope to visit all my blogging buddies soon!

Firm Kick in the Pants

I feel like I need one. I have no idea what happened. The Fall came (my favorite season) and I felt so energized and ready to tackle the world. Somewhere along the way my energy escaped me and I've been feeling a little blah and unmotivated.

I think it's because I have two pretty major things in my life that are a source of anxiety on almost a constant basis. I won't go into detail, but I am really feeling the pressure lately. I need to find a way to clear my head and deal with both things, but it's not easy. And neither of them have a quick or clear answer by any means.

Which leads me to another thing. I like to think that I am a fairly strong person. But when I have these situations arise, I start to feel like maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm weak and insecure. Maybe I don't stick up for things as much as I need to -- or assert myself more when I need to. I don't know. It's frustrating. Here I am, 37 years old -- certainly much more assertive than I was in my twenties, but still, always wanting to be the peacemaker, not wanting to create too many waves. Maybe I need to create waves. And then I need to learn how to weather them better.

Speaking of 37 -- I would like to state for the record that although I find it hard to believe I am closer to 40 than 30, I do like being in my 30s. I would never go back to my 20s for anything. I made so many bad choices in my 20s. But they were all learning experiences, so I guess I have to be thankful for that. But I really do think that women in general become so much more comfortable with who they are and their goals as they age. Do you agree? Even though I just said I feel like I need to be a stronger person, I do think I am much more grounded than I was in my 20s and more confident in myself. Not as confident as I'd like to be, but it certainly is better.

Well, I am off to accomplish something -- hopefully a lot of somethings today! Hopefully getting some check marks on my "to do" list will be a start to that kick in the pants I'm searching for!

Have a beautiful day my friends!

Has It Really Been That Long???

Wow -- I just looked at the date of my last post and had no idea it had been so long since I've updated my blog.

This month has absolutely FLOWN by and honestly, I think I may be in denial that it's November next week already. I have such a love/hate relationship with this time of the year. I love the Fall -- love September and October. Love the holidays in November and December. But my goodness -- why does it have to go speeding by every year? Makes me nuts.

We have had company for about thirteen days this month -- first my mother-in-law and father-in-law, followed by a visit by my sister-in-law. We had a great time, but I knew it would make this month seem to go even faster. And now we are all quite tired. We went to Dollywood, Chuck E. Cheese, bowling, the park, the pumpkin patch, shopping, out to dinner several times -- etc., etc., etc. I need to find a hide out and sleep for several days to refuel I think. And I need to hire a maid! (hee hee)

I also turned 37 in the midst of all this craziness. That's a post for another day.

I thought I'd share some photos of what happens when Nannie and Pops come to visit. My children get mighty spoiled with love, attention and the occassional gift (including lollipops the size of their heads!) The hubby and I get pretty spoiled ourselves.

Alright -- gotta run. My dirty house needs some attention -- and I'm afraid there is no maid coming. Enjoy the rest of October -- it will be over before you know it!

Short and sweet today...

This morning I was on the phone and when I got off, my four-year old daughter said, "Who was that?"

"I had to call someone at church." I replied.

Without missing a beat she said quite seriously, "Was it God?"

(I chuckle to myself every time I think of it!)

She also saw a rather grumpy looking man earlier. Even I thought he looked pretty unfriendly. She studied him a minute then said to me, "Mom, I think that man must be allergic to kids!"

Some days, the girl is on a roll I tell ya!

Enjoy the weekend!

Favorite Moments

I have been a roller coaster of emotions lately. Geesh! Letting too many outside things get me down. Watching and reading the news too much. So I decided to try and focus on the little things that get me through the day sometimes. I have to share one of my favorite moments from the past few days.

I'm sure I've said it a million times by now, but I am an only child. As an only child, I love to observe my kids and their sibling relationships. Sometimes they baffle me, but usually it's really a joy to see. I've always wished I had siblings. Watching my children together makes me so happy they have each other.

My oldest tends to have his own agenda a lot of the time. Not necessarily in a bad way, but he likes to do what he wants to do. He plays with his sister pretty well (who is our middle child), but his little brother he kind of ignores. Not always, but a lot. And it's not intentional -- just the way things work out.

So the other day, I was running around trying to finish up dinner, get the kids ready for soccer practice, put away laundry, etc., etc., etc. The youngest was taking a nap and I needed to wake him up. I asked my oldest to go in, talk to him softly, and just hang out with him for a few minutes. He agreed without complaining and when I went to get the boys a few minutes later, the bedroom door was closed. Through the door I heard my oldest reading a dinosaur book to his little brother. When I peeked in, my youngest was laying in his bed, completely wrapped up in listening to the story. He had the happiest smile on his face as he listened to his big brother reading to him.

This may not sound like a big deal, but these little moments bring me such joy. I love when my children do things for each other without me suggesting them or asking them to. The fact that my oldest thought to read to his brother instead of ignoring him and just sitting there is a big deal to me. I just love it!

It is so easy to get caught up in the bad things around us. I'm very guilty of it. But these little quiet, beautiful moments are all around us too. I don't want to lose sight of those.

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Now on another note -- I love October! Somehow the sky seems more brilliantly blue, the air is cool and crisp, it's football season. The leaves are just starting to change here. I love the vibrant orange, red and gold of the season. I can't wait to get some great fall pictures.

Well, I need to run, so for today I'm done rambling. Have a WONDERFUL day!!!

Enough

It's a rainy day today. It's making me feel kind of lazy and kind of thoughtful. All I want to do is hang out and scrapbook. My son has the day off school and we are pretty much taking it easy. We have a hectic day tomorrow and the housework is always waiting for me, so I decided a lazy day is just what we need today. I enjoy an occassional rainy, lazy day, don't you???

My "thoughtfulness" was triggered by an Oprah show I saw this week. It was on Wednesday, but I taped it and watched it in bits and pieces. It was a follow up on homes she and others have paid to have built and furnished for Hurricane Katrina and Rita survivors who lost everything. It's always so nice to see things that showcase goodness and kindness of heart. We see so much of the opposite. Anyway, it was heartwarming to say the least.

I don't like to think I'm a material person. Would I like newer clothes? Sure. Would I like a nicer house? Sometimes. Do I wish we had more money? It would be nice. But at the same time, I know how blessed we are and that truly, we have enough. We get by. We have a roof over our heads and food on the table. My children are healthy and happy. We have a loving family and some amazing friends. Who needs more than that? Is it hard to live on one income? Sure. But do we NEED to have more? I don't think so. I feel so blessed that we can make ends meet (even though it's a challenge!) and I get to stay home with my children who continue to grow up before my very eyes.

It saddens me when people feel like they deserve more -- need more -- expect and demand more -- when what they have, could be enough if they would focus on what they have instead of what they don't. I'm not saying we shouldn't all strive to better our lives -- I'm just talking about the focus on material -vs- what's truly important. I think when you become too focused on the "getting", you miss out on enjoying what you have.

I believe it was just my last post when I spoke about the phone call I was dreading. It came either that very day or the day after. My cousin lost her battle with cancer just two weeks ago. Her passing still seems so unreal to me, but it has been a true reality check in my daily life. I still get impatient or overreact to things and get in bad moods. But I feel like I've been trying harder to keep things in perspective. Even little things.

My husband likes to tease me a lot about my age. (He's two years younger.) It always reminds me of my cousin because we were just six weeks apart in age. When we were little, she used to like to hold it over my head that she was older than me. As we got older, I got to tease her about being younger. We had some fun with that. I've never been one to freak out about my birthday, but sometimes I do find it hard to believe I'm in my mid-to-late thirties. Now when I think about my next birthday, I feel like it would be almost disrespectful to my cousin if I freaked out about being another year older. I know how much she wished for another 40 or 50 birthdays so she could watch her kids grow and see their kids.

I'm sure this post seems so disjointed. My underlying message here is -- let's be thankful. Let's realize how blessed we are. Let's realize that it's quite possible, we each have enough to be happy. And certainly, we have more than a lot of other people out there.

I know I said this just recently, but it's never enough -- I am so thankful for each of you -- my wonderful friends. Your kind thoughts and heartfelt notes, especially with my sadness over my cousin has been so appreciated. Thank you so very, very much.

Enjoy the weekend -- enjoy your families!! And be thankful for each day -- each moment -- you are given.

How Sweet Is This?

This is a page from my four-year old daughter's scrapbook. She has her own unique style (as you can see!) . She has done about 12 pages now and they are all very unique. I have asked her several times if she wants me to help her and she does not. She is content doing her thing and honestly, I know that this will be a fantastic keepsake of when she was four. It makes me smile when I look through her book -- and some days, I can feel a little lump in my throat too!

I happened to go to a scrapbooking site yesterday that I very rarely visit. A thread caught my eye about a younger lady that had passed away (in her 40s I think). A friend had encouraged her for years to scrapbook for her children and she just never got around to it. She got sick and her friends got together to make pages for her and she was going to record her stories. However, she died rather suddenly (sooner than expected) and never had a chance to write anything.

The thread went on to remind everyone of two things. And in my opinion, they are so important and so true. First -- life is short and we never really know how long we have. Unexpected things happen every single day. As a procrastinator and someone who unfortunately feels very unorganized a lot of the time, I feel the need to remind myself of this often. Time is precious and short. Am I using it wisely?

Second -- and this is why I shared a page from my daughter's scrapbook -- it doesn't really matter what supplies we use or what our style is or if others accept our work or if we are published. Why do we scrapbook? To leave lasting memories for our loved ones, right? Does it matter if we have the latest paper or products? Not really. It really bothers me when people get nasty and judgemental about the work of others. We each have our own tastes and not everything will appeal to us. But there is no right or wrong when it comes to creating pages. If you're doing it, that's what matters.

I think the thread also struck home with me because of my 37-year old cousin with cancer. I got a call yesterday that she has taken a turn for the worse yet again. The aunt that called is a nurse who has worked with many cancer patients. She wanted me to brace myself, because in her opinion, time is very, very short for my cousin. So I am apprehensively waiting for a phone call. I feel so agitated these days, and I think it's partly because I'm expecting this dreaded phone call. And though I'm expecting it, I do not feel prepared for it.

Okay -- enough for today. And as I end my post, I want each of you who reads this to know how much I appreciate your friendship.

Wishing you a wonderful, happy, safe and peaceful weekend!

I finally figured it out...

Yesterday I had to run to Walgreens. I was on my way to pick my daughter up from pre-school and was in a hurry. My youngest was being mischievous and somewhat uncooperative (not unusual!) and I decided a little bribery was in order.

I broke my own rule and said to my son, "Do you want a sucker?" I asked this figuring Walgreen's was sure to have a $1 bag of Dum Dums -- right? They usually have stuff like that. No problem. And Dum Dums are just the right size for him.

(Side note -- my rule is never mention something specific to my kids -- like "Do you want McDonald's?" Then we can't find a McDonald's and they freak out because nothing else will do since you've already said the word "McDonald's" -- know what I mean??). Saying the word "sucker" was a big mistake.

I found a package of Dum Dums alright. But it was the economy-feed-a-small-army sized bag. See it? STINKING HUGE. And not cheap I might add. And there was no small bag to be found. Because low and behold -- at the end of August, apparently it's necessary to have all the Halloween candy out. (Who in the world buys their Halloween candy two months early for goodness sakes???)

Now I realize a sensible person would have just said to their child, "Sorry honey -- no suckers today." But not me. I was in a frantic hurry. Didn't want to hear the fussing. (Lame, right?) So I grabbed the econo sized bag of suckers -- spent more than any human being should spend on a bag of suckers and was on my way.

Now this jumbo bag sits in my house. Laughing at me -- making me -- the Dum Dum.

I have always wondered where these suckers got their name. I finally figured it out. I think the words "sucker" and "Dum Dum" pretty much say it all!!

Blogging for no apparent reason...

Yes, it's true. I really have nothing in particular to say. My DH went to bed early -- the kids are all finally in bed. And for some crazy reason I decided to have a glass of wine at 10:45pm. So here I sit, thinking I should scrapbook or read, but instead I decided to ramble. Why not?

As I logged on to my computer tonight, I read the news headlines. What has this world come to? Am I the only one who sometimes wonders why I brought children into this world? Don't get me wrong -- my kids are my life. But some days I get nothing but knots in my stomach wondering how in the world I can protect them from the vast amount of evil out there. I know there is a lot of good too, but my goodness there are a lot of sick, crazy people and things to contend with. It scares me. But I guess that's where faith should come into play. You instill values in your children. You protect them to the best of your ability. And you realize God has a plan. And maybe you don't read so many news headlines. In my opinion, there is a fine line between being informed and making yourself nuts. I want to know enough to realize when there's a problem -- but not so much that I want to run and hide. Know what I mean? (If not, maybe it's the wine talking! LOL)

On a completely different topic -- there's been lots of scrapbookers talking about doing 100 layouts before buying any new items to add to their stash. Like a challenge of sorts. It sounds like a great idea -- really. And I for one, should do it. Heavens knows I have plenty to work with. So part of me is kind of jazzed -- thinking maybe such a challenge would make me scrap on a continual basis -- stealing moments here and there to work on layouts. Another part of me says, "Are you kidding? I'll be lucky if I do 100 layouts before I'm 80!" And seriously -- will I be able to resist buying any scrapping product for however long it takes me to make ONE HUNDRED pages. ONE HUNDRED??? I don't make that many in a year. Could I? Probably, yes. Can I go several months without shopping? No comment.

Okay -- I have rambled quite a bit for someone who claims to have nothing to say. Again...can we just blame it on the wine?

ENJOY your evening! (Or morning, or afternoon -- depending on when you might read this! :) )

Easing into the routine

Well, here we are -- day four of our back to school schedule. I have to say, I like it. My husband and son leave and I've actually had a bit of quiet time each morning so far. My youngest must have decided to give me a break for a few days and has been sleeping about half an hour later than usual. Not much of one -- but nonetheless a break! I'll take it!

I say I like the schedule so far, but I'm wondering if I'll change my mind in another week or so. So far, my oldest is back to school, but my daughter hasn't started her pre-school schedule. And we are just starting soccer practices this week and my son will start religious education classes in about two weeks. This will make us quite a bit busier and then, the schedule may not be so appealing. We'll see.

I am so anxious for Fall weather. Now that we live in the Southeast, I'm sure I'll have to wait a while. I hate to admit it, but I'm not much of a summer weather girl. I like it for a while, then I'm ready for it to go away. I would be perfectly happy with 12 months of Fall!

This change in routine is also making me anxious to work on some projects around the house. Now if I could just find the time. And winning the lottery might help too. (Of course in order to win, I guess I'd have to play!)

Okay -- I'm pretty boring today. (I know, I know -- I'm pretty boring most days! LOL)

Enjoy the day!

It's never too late...

What is it about bookstores?? I went to Borders by myself for a while yesterday. I can't remember the last time I went to a bookstore by myself and I was almost giddy. Just the smell and being surrounded by shelf upon shelf filled with books. I love it! I rarely even read anymore (which is sad --gotta work on that!), but I still LOVE books!

I didn't spend a long time there, but I did find a bookmark with a quote I don't recall ever seeing before. I probably have heard or seen it, but I love it, so I had to share it.

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." -- George Eliot

Isn't that a great quote?? Really -- what a great thing to remember. I know I for one feel like maybe I've missed my opportunity for this or that sometimes, but really -- why should we ever feel that way? It's never too late to put our minds to something and achieve our goals. It's just a matter of working at it, right?

I love good quotes -- and this one is now in my top five.

Hope it inspires you in some way as well. Happy Monday!

Darn you, Oprah Winfrey!

Okay -- I guess I can't really blame Oprah, but darn it, she really gets me thinking.

Honestly, I love the woman. She does an amazing amount of good for people and she tries to get the rest of us to do the same to the best of our ability. And this is where my frustration lies -- what is it I should be doing??

I constantly have this feeling that I am not giving back to the best of my ability. I know I could be doing more. My struggle is -- how? and when? and where? Most of the time I can barely find the time or energy to do the things I need to for my family. So how do I find the time for more? Other people do it -- surely if I get off my rear, I can too!

I suppose if I could get my life in general more organized, that would be a start. I have a list a million miles long of projects and things to do. Getting them done is another story. I used to be ridiculously organized. This is not the case anymore.

Maybe there never comes a point where we feel satisfied with things as they are. Maybe we aren't supposed to. I guess we should always be striving to become better and do more.

I've also decided that I need some magic formula that will allow me to survive on just an hour or two of sleep each night. Wouldn't that rock?? I would totally love having seven or eight hours all to myself while my family and the rest of the world around me was sleeping! Maybe then I could make a dent in my to do list. Of course, this isn't going to happen. I spent the first fourteen months of my youngest son's life getting just three or four hours of sleep each night and it wasn't pretty.

Okay -- enough for today. When I figure out the secret of how to accomplish it all, I promise I'll share.

Just don't hold your breath!

Boy, it gets under my skin!!!

Yes, it's me venting again. And this time it's a pet peeve of mine that I wish were NOT a pet peeve, but for some reason it just really gets under my skin!

I cannot stand it when people make fun of scrapbooking. I tell myself they don't get it and to just ignore it. And then I don't listen to myself. I let it bug me.

It's not that I expect everyone to enjoy scrapbooking. It's not even that I want them to like MY pages. What I don't like is that they don't respect that it's a hobby I enjoy. And that they don't "get" it. I suppose I can't expect everyone to get it, but for some reason it's simply beyond me that they don't. How can you not understand the importance of a hobby that documents a person's life or history? How can you not get a person wanting to share important feelings with their loved ones? I really do not understand.

I guess to some people it's simply a waste of time and money. Or a revisiting of cutting and pasting from grade school. I guess if they don't really think about what it entails, they aren't going to get it. But for goodness sake -- if you know it's something I enjoy, keep your snide comments to yourself because I don't enjoy hearing them.

(Can you tell I'm put out?? LOL)

I have a couple of friends that insist on belittling my time spent scrapbooking and just scrapping in general. And even though I rarely see them or rarely have to hear about it....when I do it just literally drives me nuts. And at the same time, it makes me sad, because these same friends have several children and I think to myself, "Don't you think your kids would enjoy pages or journaling documenting their lives??" I'm not asking you to do it -- just think about it and respect it.

And now that I've gotten that off of my chest...how many pet peeves is a person allowed anyhow?? Because I think I may be nearing my quota! (hee hee)

On that note -- have a great day!

Time -- Where does it go and how can I get more???

Isn't it funny how it usually feels like there just isn't enough time in the day, yet it's also incredibly easy to waste time? Am I the only one who feels like I can never find the time for certain things -- and yet I know I waste time too.

Lately, I've been really needing a "creative" break -- whether it be to scrapbook or write, or something. My family doesn't seem to get that whole concept yet though. My kids are really too young to get it -- and DH doesn't seem to have it figured out yet either. I've mentioned several times the need to do some scrapbooking, but unless I insist on it, I rarely seem to get that time. And unfortunately, once I finally get the kids to bed at night, I'm almost always too tired to scrap. There are exceptions, but usually I'm just spent. And I hate that!

Ah well -- someday, perhaps I will get myself more organized and find a solution. I can hope anyway.

Speaking of time -- where in the world has this summer gone?? Half way through July and all the stores are getting back to school sales going and displays up. I think I'm in denial that in just about four weeks my son will be headed back to school already!! And my daughter starts pre-school! (Can't think about that one too much -- the tears will be flowing!) We've kept incredibly busy this summer, but I still feel I haven't accomplished half the things I thought I would with the kids. And time just keeps flying right on by...

I am completely rambling -- pretty boring today. But if you can get anything out of my babble, I guess I would remind you to embrace the day -- and every day. Make the most of every moment -- because doggone it, the time just passes entirely too quickly!

My impending adventure --

Yes, it's me -- blogging. I know, hard to believe. It's actually me stalling too. Stalling because I have about two hundred things to do, but I'm really, really tired today. And I have a big adventure looming ahead of me tomorrow. So like the stellar procrastinator that I am, I decided to take a break. What I'd really like is a nap! But my kids don't believe in Mommy napping, so no sleep for me!

So -- what's this big adventure?? My kids call it our "Grand Adventure". I secretly call it " The Insanity Tour", but shhhhh -- don't tell them! It's a road trip. A very long road trip. Just the three of them and me. Crazy I think -- but exciting. They have been counting down the days. And while I'm a bit nervous, I am excited about spending this time with them, visiting family and friends. It should be fun -- and exhausting. And I should have lots of funny stories and wonderful memories when all is said and done.

As a bonus, I get to meet some good friends from Croppers Cottage -- and I cannot wait. I feel so lucky and am looking very forward to it.

Okay -- I've stalled long enough and had better get busy, but as I leave you, I must share my four-year old daughter's favorite new joke she made up. I find it quite funny -- I may be the only one, but for a four-year old, I thought it quite ingenious!

My youngest turns two on Friday so we have been asking him, "How old is Nicholas going to be?" Then we show him two fingers and say "TWO!" in a very excited voice -- like it's the best thing in the world. So the other day, Rachel said to him, "How old is Nicholas going to be??? (she pauses then says) ahhhhhh -- TWO!" followed by, "Get it Mom -- AH - TWO -- like I sneezed!!!" Maybe you had to be there, but it really was quite funny.

Needless to say, we have now added this to our game with Nicholas.... "ahhhh --- two!! God bless you!"

On that note -- farewell -- and say a prayer for us as we begin our insane, grand, wonderful adventure!

I've been Tagged -- by Paula!

So I've been tagged and here are my answers -- I really had to think on some of these!

Seven things to do before I die: 1. Find a better and ongoing way to “give back” to others 2. instill what is truly most important in my children 3. spend as much time as possible with family and friends even just by correspondence 4. Attend a taping of the “Oprah” show 5. Visit Italy 6. Learn to sew 7. Get some children’s books written and published

Seven things I cannot do: 1. Control my tears when I’m really angry (and sometimes when I’m really happy!) 2. swim (I can a little, but not well) 3. drive a car with a stick shift 4. sing 5. draw 6. go to bed without one final check on each of the kids 7. a cartwheel

Seven things that attract me to my husband: 1. his sense of humor 2. the way he interacts with children 3. his love of his parents and siblings 4. the times when he brings me a silly surprise for no reason 5. the fact that spending time with our children is his favorite thing 6. his sensitive side 7. he likes to cook for us

Seven books that I love: 1. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas) 2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) 3. All of the Harry Potter books (JK Rowling) 4. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) 5. A Time to Kill (John Grisham) 6. Message in a Bottle (Nicholas Sparks) 7. Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)

Seven things that I say: 1. Be quiet 2. Quit yelling 3. You’re giving Mommy a headache! 4. Heavens to Betsy 5. Holy Toledo 6. No Way! 7. I can’t do everything at once! (and I CANNOT believe I admitted to #4 and #5!!!)

Seven movies I've loved: 1. The Shawshank Redemption 2. Dead Poets Society 3. Good Will Hunting 4. Monsters, Inc. 5. Star Wars 6. Finding Neverland 7. It’s a Wonderful Life

Seven blogs I'm gonna tag: Christi, Amber, Mary Jo, Marnie, Sharon, Becky, Pam

My own little angel

As many of you know by now, I have had several miscarriages. One of them was when I was 20 weeks pregnant. I delivered a little girl. Lately, I've been thinking about her a lot.

When it happened, I did a couple of scrapbook pages -- mostly just writing. It really was the thing that started me into scrapbooking as we now know it. I'm thinking of doing another page, just to put a lot more in writing. I'm using my blog this morning to start jotting down some things I remember. So if you see my pages, you may see this in the form of journaling at some point. And I hope you don't mind me sharing this here.

We did name the little angel who now watches over our family. Her name is Allyson Grace.

I remember the first time I saw her little heart beating in a sonogram. I remember the day I found out something was wrong with her. I remember that my doctor at the time was very cold. She told me to bring my husband to my appointment on the day we got the bad news. She had never met him, but when she came to deliver the news that our baby was not doing so well, she didn't introduce herself to my husband or say anything comforting whatsoever. She very hurriedly came into our room and announced that the baby's heart was failing -- we'd have to decide what we wanted to do -- end of story. I remember feeling pure shock and not being able to catch my breath. I remember thinking it couldn't be real -- and wondering how my doctor could deliver such news as though she was telling me about the weather.

Initially, there was no harm to me, so it was an easy decision to just monitor the baby. We went to weekly sonogram appointments. I clearly remember the one where they could no longer find a heartbeat. It makes me cry just thinking about it.

I remember having to go through an induced labor to deliver her. I remember feeling sick and miserable and so, so empty. I remember not knowing whether or not I wanted to hold her, knowing I wasn't bringing her home. But I did hold her -- thank goodness. I think I would have regretted it the rest of my life had I not held her. She was SO, so, so tiny! I remember the small family burial service we had -- no priest, just a few family members at the cemetary.

I remember feeling sad, angry, confused and having a broken heart. I know it was God's will that it happened, but at the time, I certainly didn't want anyone to say so. I remember some friends and family saying the wrong things as they attempted to say the right things -- all with the best intentions of course. I also remember the outpouring of love from family, friends, co-workers and even from people I would never have expected it from. I remember that our dog, stayed very close to my side for the first few weeks after it happened -- as if she sensed I needed comfort.

I remember thinking I could return to work the following week. Thank goodness my doctor talked me out of it. I took an actual maternity leave -- and emotionally, I needed it!

I remember having a fabulous fetal specialist as my doctor when things went wrong -- he and his assistant were a far cry from the cold doctor who had delivered the news initially. I remember having a nurse by my side when I went through my labor and delivery, who was patient, kind and cried right along with me. I remember that Matt was very strong for me when he needed to be.

I wonder what my baby girl would have been like.

On the flip side, if we had Allyson, we would not have Ryan. That's a hard thing for me to think about. Because I miss the baby girl I never got to know, but I cannot imagine, nor do I want to imagine life without Ryan.

This event in my life happened for a reason. Maybe several reasons. It taught me a lot and it made me see things differently. Life has moved on -- a lot has happened. In the chaos of every day life, I sometimes forget the lessons I learned from my experience with Allyson. I don't want to forget. I want to always remember what really matters and not let the other stuff get to me. I want to be a good mother to the children I have been blessed with -- I want to be patient and thankful and teach them how to appreciate what is TRULY important.

If you've read this far, I hope I haven't shared too much.

Today if you think about it, as we approach Mother's Day, say a little prayer for all the wonderful mothers out there. Those who have lost children and those who haven't. If you are a mother, I wish you a beautiful Mother's Day with your children. God bless you all!

Wow -- I'm posting on my blog!

For some strange reason, I have not felt like posting here lately. But today, I decided I needed to get a few things out, so here I am.

Today, I am going to share a couple of my pet peeves. Just to get them off my chest.

I hate when someone takes the fun out of something for me. I just hate when they take something I enjoy doing and insist on making fun of it. Making fun until I just am so sick of the jokes, it makes me not want to do that thing anymore for a while. And what's even more frustrating, is I KNOW I should NOT let it get to me like that. But it does. And it bugs me. Am I making any sense? I don't understand people who have to take the joy out of things for other people. It's annoying.

Another huge pet peeve, is when someone talks to me as if I'm an idiot. I hate being talked down to, like I'm stupid. Because, you know what -- I'm not stupid. And I refuse to let anyone make me feel that way. I am somewhat of an insecure person -- have been all my life. But I'm getting better as I get older and I know I'm not stupid. So when someone insists on talking to me like I'm completely brainless, it just gets under my skin in the worst way. I don't feel like I should have to put up with it.

Okay -- rant over. Forgive me for being crabby -- I'm just having one of those days. I'm irritable and the kids are already in rare form. All of them pushing me to my limit and it's not even noon -- that's never a good thing! But I'm sure we'll get back on track at some point -- and if not, tomorrow is another day!

That's all I got for now. Enjoy your day! And don't be a crab (like me!)

My daughter makes me laugh

Poor neglected blog...I just haven't been in the mood to write lately. Nothing wrong -- just not motivated I guess. But today, I've had so much caffeine -- just try and stop me!!!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am currently working on an album called "Say What" that includes pages with funny things my kids say. I've done a few pages, but lately it seems I only want to do pages about my four-year old daughter. She says at least one thing every day that cracks me up. As a mother of three, I feel guilty if my scrapbooking focuses on one child for too long (probably silly, but I can't help it!). Nick doesn't talk yet, so if I do pages about him, it will be about his little "quirks" for now. But I have a bunch of Ryan stories that deserve pages. And I know I'll do them. But darn it -- Rachel is just at the age where funny things are constantly spewing from her mouth and it makes me want to scrap Rachel stories.

Some of my favorite words from Rachel lately include the "sibe labor" she asked for today. That would be a Lifesaver to you and I. Yet somehow, I knew what she was asking for!

Yesterday as she was eating dinner, she told me how good she was because she was getting lots of "froat-tein" . Froat-tein, protein -- call it what you want.

Yesterday she also told me with a very disgruntled expression on her face "This day is very confused!" I asked her why the day was confused and she rambled on about something her brother had done. Then she said, "This day is so confused...it's reee-dicawous!" (yes, ridiculous). "Re-dicawous" seems to be a favorite expression of hers lately.

Sometimes I 'm sure only I find humor in these things. Maybe putting them in writing is not as funny. When the kids say them, I hear their cute voices and the emphasis they put on certain things. I also think if you know their personalities it makes a big difference. But I just want to remember all of these things. When my kids are in their twenties and I'm at home, sobbing because they've grown up, I want to read these things and get a good laugh.

So am I making a point here? No, not really. Just rambling (blame the caffeine). But if any of you ever have to suffer through my scrapbook pages that might not make much sense, just know they mean something to me, no matter how silly they might seem!

Thank goodness for my mom!

There are so many reasons I'm thankful for my mom. She raised me on her own (with the help of my grandparents, but mostly on her own) and while we don't always see eye to eye, we are similar in a lot of ways. She is always there for me no matter what and has had to listen to me vent more than any mother should have to -- God bless her!

Recently, I started working on a theme album as part of my design team assignment for Croppers Cottage. My theme is funny things my kids say -- words they mispronounce, or just funny stories about them. Now, while I try to be a good mom and write down everything, I don't always do a very good job of it. However, I have been known on many occassions to e-mail my mom with these stories. I'm her only child and she hates being so far away from me and her grandkids, so I try to share funny little things with her about the kids whenever I can, just to make her smile.

So -- as I started working on my album, I realized, I had some things written down, but not nearly as many as I hoped. Maybe I have some more stashed away somewhere, but who knows when those will surface. The kids could be off to college before I find them! Anyway -- my dear, sweet mom, who loves the stories I send her about her grandkids, has saved probably every little e-mail I have sent her. And today, she e-mailed them back to me in one big document. Not only did I get a good laugh as I read through what I had sent, but now I am inspired to scrap some more pages in my album. And she also included some stories SHE had written down from times spent with my little monkeys.

So today I say -- thank goodness for my mom -- who is more amazing and wonderful than words can say for so many reasons!

Tagged by Amber -- here are my answers!

Top 5 must-haves (ever changing of course)

in my fridge
1. Milk (for the kids)
2. Apple Juice (also for the kids!)
3. Flavored coffee creamer (usually vanilla of some sort -- yum)
4. Diet Coke
5. cheese -- shredded, slices -- we always seem to need cheese! LOL

in my closet
1. jeans
2. sweatshirts
3. t-shirts
4.comfy shoes
5. I'm so boring and non-fashionable these days, I can't think of a fifth answer! LOL

in my purse (which is actually just the diaper bag most days - how boring am I???)
1. wallet/checkbook
2. keys
3. pen
4. cell phone
5. hand sanitizer (again -- kids -- touching everything in sight -- germs --- ewwww!)

in my car
1. wipes/napkins/kleenex (I have three kids!)
2. sunglasses
3. CDs
4. coupons for fast food (when the kids are tired of my errands and need a snack!)
5. scrapping mags/catalogs (for when I'm waiting in line to pick up my son at school!)

on my TiVo (if we had TiVo!)
1. Lost
2. 24
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. American Idol
5. Desperate Housewives or Extreme Makeover Home Edition would be my final choice!

What has happened to me?

Good Monday Morning Everyone!

I think I've noticed something about myself and I'm wondering at what point it happened.

I think if I'm honest, I have to say -- I actually look forward to MONDAYS!

What is up with that???

Most people count down the days until the weekend. I however, look forward to Mondays when my DH is back to work and my oldest son is at school and I can get the house back in order. Because try as I might, it is near impossible to keep it in order when we're ALL home!

Maybe it's because I'm a stay-at-home Mom and our house is my "workplace". I feel like I've lost control of it over the weekend, but during the week, it's mine. Maybe...

Don't get me wrong -- I love our family time on the weekends. It's wonderful. But there are some weekends that are just plain stressful. Maybe that's part of it too.

Ah well...just some random thoughts from me on this Monday morning.

Wishing you all a great week!

Back on the blogging bandwagon...

at least for today.

I have been so bad about keeping up lately. Not only with posting on my own blog, but with visiting the blogs I enjoy as well. After my funky blah mood, my entire household was sick for over a week -- the remnants of that are still lingering for the kids. I feel so far behind, but I also have finally gotten out of my blue mood and am slowly, but surely getting things back on track. Nothing is ever really caught up at our house, so I'm just taking things one step at a time and doing what I can. And to those of you who are used to seeing my posts on your blogs, I apologize for neglecting you -- hopefully, I'll catch up with that a bit too!

Yesterday, I made a big to do list. I didn't accomplish much of anything on it. Instead I enjoyed a gorgeous spring afternoon with my kids outside. My to do list didn't seem all that important as I sat in the sunshine with a cool breeze blowing and the sky looking amazingly blue. I watched the kids as they picked a handful of "flowers" (yes that would be dandelions!) and happily presented them to me. I watched the dog bask in the sun and then run around the yard with a stick. I watched as my kids unearthed a worm and carried him around in a toy shovel -- all the while very interested in watching that worm wriggle around in search of some dirt. It felt so great to finally get some fresh air after being couped up in our sickly house. And it was such fun just taking in the day. I love days like that -- when I can keep calm about all the "stuff" that needs to be done and just focus on the simple pleasures my family and my life present me.

Today, I remind all of you to take time out to catch your breath and enjoy the little things that may escape your notice in the busy pace of everyday life.

Wishing you a day filled with beautiful, happy moments.

Man, I have got the funky blahs!

I am so tired of feeling the blahs! I have been in a funk for almost a week now and it is SO not like me to be this way. I cannot snap out of it.

I have had some good moments -- like the fun afternoon I spent with my two oldest kids yesterday, going to lunch, the library and visiting some very sweet dogs at the animal shelter. Overall though, I am just spent.

I have been getting less sleep than I should -- that's probably not a good thing. My husband and daughter are sick. I feel like I've just been going from one task to the next not really focusing on anything. My house is a disaster, even though I feel like I have been CONSTANTLY picking up and straightening. Everything just feels messy and frustrating these past few days. And I think I am catching whatever bug is in my house (but I am fighting it, let me tell you!)

I cannot even find joy in scrapbooking. I'm not motivated. I was working on a very intense, serious project and decided to switch to something fun and lighthearted. Normally, that would pep me up. It's not working this time.

I 'm not sure how or when this mood will pass. I hate it because I don't want to chat with my scrapping friends online too much and I don't want to call anyone because I feel like I am a big fat downer right now and I hate to be that way. ARRRGH! It's driving me crazy!

(Deep breath!)

On a positive note (can you believe I'm going to say something positive??), I finally, after six long months, got my hair cut today and it feels so good! I used to be a "haircut every five weeks girl" without fail. Somewhere along the way that changed and let me tell you, six months is way too long! I was feeling pretty frumpy. I still do (because of my ridiculous mood!), but the haircut is a start.

So sorry to be a such a downer. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better, happier and productive day.

Regret is a funny thing

The other day I was thinking about some friends of mine and the times we spent together when I was in my early twenties. There was a group of eight of us that did practically everything together. I was thinking about what a great time in my life that was...but then as I started thinking about my early twenties, I also realized that I did a lot of things during those years that I regret. Stupid things that are embarrassing to think about now -- things I might change if I could.

Which led me to this...regret is a funny, funny thing. Sure you can regret small things like a bad perm or something mean that you said. But can you regret larger life decisions that have led you to where you are right now? If it's something extreme like a bad addiction, of course I say yes. But if it's a job that you took or a move to a new town -- isn't there always things that come from these choices that you don't regret?

For example...when I was 20, I moved out of state for someone I was dating. Certain aspects of my move seem like a huge mistake when I look back. I was back home within three short months. But some things came out of that move that have put me where I am today. I learned so much about myself in that time. I also was forced to move out of comfort zone I had been in. When I returned home, I got a job that I was sure was temporary and ended up doing it for 11 years. Met some great friends, a few of whom I would consider very influential in my life. So do I regret that move...I guess not, even though thinking about certain aspects of that time makes me wish I had made some different choices.

There are aspects of my life right now that some days make me think, "Man I wish I could change this -- go back and start over." But then I realize, if I could do that, what other aspects of my life would be totally different? Things that I don't necessarily want to change. I guess if you have faith and believe God has a plan for you, then you just have to accept what life hands you and try to make the best decisions possible along the way. I do believe everything happens for a reason. It's not always clear why at the time, but somewhere along the way you end up figuring it out. Good or bad.

I probably sound like a scary version of Dr. Phil today ~ for that I apologize! I guess this is just my little reminder to myself to embrace things for the good that has come out of them, instead of focusing on the bad. Regrets are a part of life, but if you can learn and move on, they aren't always a bad thing.

And so it begins...

Ahhh...three kids. All home, all day....

My son is on Spring Break this week. I love having all my kids with me, but there is a whole new level of chaos at my house when ALL three kids are here as opposed to just the two youngest. It's headache-inducing sometimes.

I am not complaining. It's just such an obvious difference. When it's just the youngest two, we have a routine. We kind of ease into our day. My oldest doesn't ease into things so much. He wants to start the day his way immediately, whether it be breakfast first thing or a particular game or movie. He wakes up quicker than my daughter and will almost always do something to antagonize her before she's fully awake, which usually leads to tears and loud wailing. The youngest is a handful pretty much all the time (exploring, climbing, seeking mischief), and the noise from the other two seems to encourage his michievous ways.

You'd think by now I would have found a way to "handle" this craziness. It helps that I know to expect it...but it still throws me for a loop a bit! Wears me out early in the day! But I have a summer full of it quickly approaching, so I better get prepared, eh? (Sigh!)

Speaking of my munchkins, I got a photo of them yesterday that is by no means perfect, but amazingly, they were all smiling, eyes open and sitting still. That NEVER happens. I'm always jealous when I get those perfectly posed Christmas cards from my friends with three or more kids....it just doesn't happen at my house! But I do get lots of shots with personality, that's for sure!

Anyway -- here is one of the shots I got yesterday of my kids -- don't they look sweet and innocent? Nothing like the chaotic, mischievous monkeys I've described above!

Enjoy the day!

Siblings

I just love watching my children interact with one another. I think it is one of my favorite things.

I am an only child. Most people's FAVORITE question when I say that is "Are you spoiled?" Well, first of all, who says, "Heck yeah -- I'm spoiled rotten!" I hate getting the spoiled question. And seriously, I was not what one would consider spoiled. I grew up with a single parent...money was tight. But I WAS spoiled with loving, caring people in my life. And while being an only child probably had its advantages, I don't think I ever really thought about it. I was always wishing I had siblings. I still do. (Although I have gained some through marriage and I love them all dearly!)

Now that I have three kids, I have to tell you how much I enjoy watching them interact and observing that sibling bond.

Sure they have their bad moments. Some days are FILLED with bad moments, and as an only child I have thought, "Wow is this normal? Why is he so mean to her? Why aren't they being nicer?" I know it's normal though. And their good moments do outweigh the bad.

I love when they stick up for one another. I love when they are comforting to each other. I love it when the older kids make the baby laugh and laugh (and vice versa!). I love it that out of the blue they sometimes feel the need to share a hug or kiss. I love when one of them gets a treat or small gift and their first thought is sharing with the other two. I love that my daughter misses my son when he's at school. I love that sometimes when the baby is not feeling well he can only be cheered up by his sister or brother. I absolutely LOVE that they have each other.

I hope this bond will only grow stronger. I can't expect them to always be the best of friends, but I do hope they realize how lucky they are and that they will always be there for one another. And I am so thankful that God has given me three amazing little blessings who are able to grow up together.

And as for my status as an only child -- anyone need a sister???

Enjoy the day!

Plan, schman....

A while back I posted about needing a schedule or a plan. Today I had one of those mornings when I wonder, why even bother??? Here's why...

This morning I had a plan. I knew I had to get my youngest to a 9:30am appointment. In a perfect world, my DH gets up and showered, then wakes up my oldest to get him in the shower before school. I stay out of their way as much as possible (they have a system!), but I do help them get things together and out the door by 7:30am. If I'm lucky, the two youngest are still sleeping.

So today, my plan was to get my son and hubby out the door and get on with what I needed to do -- shower, get myself ready, by then the baby would be up, get him dressed and fed, then get my daughter ready. Easy, right? Should be. But not in Rita's world. My life could be a commercial for things not going as planned.

First, my DH's alarm did not go off. I was the first to wake up and it was about 35 minutes after the time when my husband and son should have started getting ready. I didn't hear a sound and knew immediately something was not right. I realized what had happened and proceeded to wake up my DH and son abruptly. I got my son showered and dressed in record time, made him wolf down his breakfast (not good, I know!) and when DH was ready, they headed out the door. We were all frantically running around, but they got out the door just five minutes later than usual. Not a big deal. I took a deep breath and headed for the shower.

My daughter met me along the way. She's usually not an early riser -- but today, because I had a plan, OF COURSE she was an early riser!!! So I got her on the couch with some juice and turned on cartoons. Not a big deal -- off to shower. But on my way, who should I hear SCREECHING, but the baby??

Long story short (or should I say shorter than it could be!) -- we made it to our appointment on time. But not without a lot of detours along the way and a few harried, stressful moments. And when I say on time -- I mean RIGHT on time. (Big sigh.)

This is what happens when I attempt to make a plan. So today, my motto is "Plan schman" -- who needs 'em?? I can fly by the seat of my pants with the best of them and somehow we manage to get through the day!!!

And you can bet tomorrow or the next day I'll be rambling on again about how I need to get organized. If I do, please direct me to this post immediately!

Spring is coming...

Today is a windy, windy day and the sun was shining this morning ~ now it's pretty much hiding behind clouds that are looking like they want to dump some rain on us. But so far, it's quiet. Thunderstorms are supposed to hit at some point. In the meantime, I have the windows open and the house definitely has the smell of SPRING!

I didn't accomplish much around my house this past weekend. I did finally get my entry together and sent for the new Croppers Cottage Design Team call. I also started on a birthday gift for my mother-in-law. I think it's going to take longer than I anticipated. And I took naps on both Saturday and Sunday -- I think I get three or four naps a year if I'm lucky -- how I got two in one weekend I'll never know! I felt so lazy, but it sure was nice! I feel like I didn't spend much time with my two oldest kids which bummed me out a bit, but daddy got lots of time with them, which was a good thing. My oldest son had his first soccer game of the season. You can tell this is the team's second season together -- they played pretty well!

I also spent some time at the ER with my youngest yesterday -- that was a tiring, scary experience, but it's okay now and he'll be fine in a couple of days.

Not much else to report -- I'm trying to get my home back in order after our weekend. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend with your families.

Happy Monday -- enjoy the week!

Remind Your Kids You Love Them

Yesterday, I felt like I was hearing a few too many sad stories about sick children. Just makes my heart ache.

In addition, I had a horrible experience with a boy who visited our house to play (some of you have heard my venting!LOL).

Both of these things were a good reminder to me to hug my kids, be more patient and tell them why they are so special and that I love them NO MATTER WHAT! I think I do these things pretty often, but some days when I'm frazzled or busy, I probably don't do it as much as I should.

So I wanted to share these little faces I love. And of course I'm including my furbaby -- technically, she's my eldest child! :)

Have a wonderful day and enjoy your weekend!

Ramblings of a Stay-At-Home Mom

Why is there a T-Rex made of legos on my blog??? Two reasons.

First, I was playing around to see if I could add pictures to my blog properly. Not sure if I did -- we'll see.

Secondly, I was thinking about something and this picture just seems to be a perfect reflection of my thoughts.

I used to sell television advertising before becoming a SAHM mom. I had a great client list -- Coca-Cola, Dodge, and McDonald's just to name a few. If you know me in person, you wouldn't really think I would be a salesperson, but I worked in sales for about 12 years. Each day was filled with something new. A lot of stress too! (Not much different from being a SAHM, eh?)

A while ago, I spoke with a neighbor of mine who I have become friends with. She has been married for about two years, has no kids, and is about 11 years younger than me. Our lives are in very different places. She asked me what was new and what I've been up to. I drew a complete blank. And for some reason I thought of this T-Rex. I almost laughed -- this T-Rex made of legos is a perfect example of what I am up to most of the time. My son helped (a little!), but I pretty much made this dinosaur!

Hours spent building with legos is a far cry from selling advertising.

Even though I am no longer in the workforce, as a stay-at-home mom I am incredibly busy. When my friend asked what I'd been up to that particular week, what could I possibly say? "Well, I did 12 loads of laundry, built a T-Rex, colored 16 pictures, played store two or three times, ran umpteen errands, changed 22 diapers...." No -- you don't say that. You draw a blank. At least I do. I have a momentary feeling of "Wow I'm boring!".

Then I say, "Oh, let's see...what have I been up to....hmmm...just the usual!"

And inside I laugh, because although my life may not be terribly exciting to talk about, I wouldn't give up this time with my kids for anything. It will be gone before I know it and I intend to enjoy it while it lasts.

Lip Service

No, I am not talking about kissing!

I hate lip service. I hate it when people say what they think you want to hear. You try to have a conversation with someone and they reply with something they don't really mean. It just sounds good, so they say it. Do you know what I mean? And do you know anyone like that?

I have someone in my life that does it all the time -- with everyone. And it took me a while to realize it. But now that I have realized it, IT DRIVES ME NUTS!

I don't really understand it either. I think it's this person's way of trying to make themself look good in everyone's eyes. That's the only thing I can figure. But oh my gosh it gets under my skin! And I know it's not just me, because a couple of people have asked me if I notice it, because they do too.

On a similar note -- I hate it when people try to create drama where there is none. Bugs, bugs, bugs me!

That's all -- had to get it off my chest. Man I have been venting a lot lately. I'll try to post something more lighthearted later so I don't scare everyone away!

Love the sinner, hate the sin

I try to remember this when someone, even someone who is hard to like, has upset me. It's a lesson I am having to remind my six-year old of these days.

I'm sure every child has had to face (or will have to at some point) something like this. My son has a girl in his class that is incredibly aggressive. Just really mean to the other kids. At least once a week (and usually more often!) he comes home with some story about the trouble she has caused. In fact, just about a week ago, the teacher had to call and tell me Ryan would be coming home with a big scratch on his neck. This little girl had CHOKED my son during PE class. Yesterday, she attacked five or six of her classmates -- hit Ryan in the face, bit another little girl, punched a third boy in the stomach.

Now, of course this is very upsetting to me. My DH gets angry and keeps asking me if he needs to "handle the situation". But what can you do? Obviously, the teachers realize there is a problem, and I assume (and hope) they do what they can to deal with it.

Ryan told me he hated this little girl. I have told him several times now to stay out of her way when she is acting out, but I also have tried to stress to him how important it is to try to be nice to her. I really have to wonder what is going on with this poor six year old girl that she is so angry and mean. I have told Ryan that maybe she has an unhappy home and she probably just needs people in her life to treat her nicely. But what a hard thing to expect of a six-year old when he is getting choked and punched!

I hope I'm making him understand. I try to make it clear to him that I do not in any way find it acceptable for her to treat him so badly, but I hope when I'm not there that he is doing his best to be patient with her.

It can be so overwhelming when you think about all the things we have to protect our kids from. And it's hard to watch them go through things that are hurtful. I know this is only the beginning.

As hard as it is, I do think you have to consider another person's perspective. Sometimes if I've had bad service somewhere or someone has been rude, I may get upset, but then I try to think -- what if this person is having a miserable day? What if they have a sick child or an abusive home life? You really just never know. And if we could all learn to be a little more patient with each other, maybe it would help -- even just a little. But I am just as guilty as anyone of losing patience and this ordeal with my son is a constant reminder to ME that I need to be sure to practice what I preach.

I am so badly in need of a schedule...

I need to get a schedule! I have so many things I want to accomplish on so many levels. So many ideas swimming around in my head. Every week I think -- "this is the week I'm going to get "scheduled" in different aspects of my life" -- everything from cleaning, to spending one-on-one time with my kids, to planning menus. I also need to spend more time on writing and I'd even like to scrapbook more than I do. I need to form some new habits. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting there. Other days I know I'm not getting there at all. And my kids seem to like to change their schedules just enough to throw me off, as far as sleeping and other things.

Maybe I want to accomplish too much all at once. I think I almost sabotage myself by not focusing. Instead I let myself become overwhelmed. Not a good place to be.

I also have issues in my life that stand in the way of some things I'd like to accomplish. Not a good excuse, but things I must contend with all the same. Sometimes I feel like I can rise above these things, but other times, it's just not possible. Still, I realize it's up to me to deal with these things as best I can. It's not hopeless and I can't let myself feel like it is. Unfortunately, I struggle with that sometimes...I do feel somewhat stuck and unsure of where to turn -- unsure of how to deal with my situation.

I realize I'm rambling -- probably somewhat incoherently. I'm just having one of those mornings -- too much swimming around in that vast space between my ears. Felt the need to remind myself in writing that I have much I'd like to accomplish and I'm not getting any younger.

Here's a habit I'd really like to form -- I already touched on this in my life is too short thread. I need to do a better job of reminding people that I appreciate them. I think I do an okay job of it at times, but I need to be more consistent. I am sure there are people in my life that don't even realize the impact they have (or have had in the past). I want to be sure they know.

Today, I am encouraging any one who may read this to let someone know how they've touched your life. Send an e-mail, make a phone call or how about a handwritten card in the mail. How nice is it to get a handwritten note in the mail??? Personally, I love it on the rare occassions that it happens. You never know -- you might just make someone's day!

Marriage is hard!

So at the risk of being a complete downer, I am feeling the need to vent. (But just a little...so don't worry! If I had posted earlier, you may have gotten a REAL eyeful/earful, but I waited! LOL)

I consider myself to be a fairly optimistic, happy person, so I hope this won't sound too negative or like I'm complaining. But dang it -- I have to say, the longer I'm married, the more I understand divorce! Not that I'm contemplating such a thing -- I just understand how it happens, especially if people go into marriage for the wrong reasons or without really thinking it through.

I remember when I was engaged, I was really excited about getting married. I was never one of those girls who had visions of fairy tales or expected it to be a walk in the park, but I knew marriage was a wonderful thing and looked forward to my life as a wife and eventually a mother. I distinctly remember one day when I was working, one of my clients asked about my wedding and I was happily telling her about it and how I looked forward to being married. She rolled her eyes and said very sarcastically, "Just you wait!" It made me really sad at the time, that someone would say that. But now, here I sit nearly ten years later and I finally understand it.

I do believe marriage is a wonderful thing. At the same time I wish people understood beforehand how much work it requires and how hard it can be. I also think that sometimes you don't see a person's true colors until later. I know this isn't always true, but sometimes I think you have to go through several life changing events to see how a person truly operates and where their priorities really lie. Dr. Phil would probably disagree (and my gosh would he have a hay day with me! -- what is a hay day anyway? -- as I typed it, I started to wonder! LOL).

Anyhow, I am just having a rough day and it seems I have more of them than I'd like in this particular regard. This is my meager attempt at venting without sharing too much information and I hope I'm not offending anyone. I literally have no one to talk to here and sometimes it's hard.

So what can I say on a happier note....hmmm....

Thank goodness for the three amazing little blessings God has given me to keep me going and keep my spirits up when I need it. I love those little monkeys more than anything. And I am also so thankful for my wonderful friends and loving family. I truly am very, very blessed.

Betcha didn't know -- I'm a Superhero!

Since I shared a funny Ryan story, I have a quick Rachel story too.

One day this week we were watching Blues Clues and Steve was playing Superhero. Rachel decided she was a superhero too, and put a blanket around herself like a cape and told me I must now call her Super Power Girl. Okay, I'm down with that.

Then she dressed our poor dog in a cape (that dog puts up with Rachel better than anyone else I think!) and she told me the dog was "Super Eater Upper". A fitting name, I have to say!

Later in the day the whole superhero thing came up again and I said to her, "Hey, doesn't Mommy get to be a superhero??" She said , "Yes, Mommy you are!" "Really?" I answered excitedly. "What's my superhero name?"

After a brief moment of thought she says, "You're Super Vacuum Cleaner Upper!"

My hopes of a glamorous superhero name, completely DASHED! LOL (But I guess on a positive note, she has noticed that I actually do clean the house sometimes!)

The Angels and Santa

Yesterday Ryan asked me, "Mom? Are the angels Santa's kids?" (not sure WHERE this question came from!)

Me: "No honey, the angels are in heaven with God."

Ryan: "Oh!" (thoughtful pause) "Hey Mom -- someday I'll be there with God too!"

Yes, Ryan...I'm sure you will!

I love that boy -- he sure tests my patience sometimes, but boy can he make me smile!

I need some style!

I feel so boring some days.

My wardrobe (if you can call it that) is pretty dull, my hair hasn't been cut in about six (eek!) months, so it's pretty unstylish right now. I just don't take the time or spend money on myself often. In fact, the only thing I tend to "splurge" on for myself is scrapbook supplies -- not clothes or "beauty" products.

I think as moms we often tend to buy for the kids first and even our husbands. But I also see other moms who seem so "together" -- cute clothes, trendy shoes, nice hair. I feel like I look frumpy and frazzled most of the time. I am amazed by moms who always look so fresh and put together. I can't pull it off! LOL

Now let me say, I am not complaining. I'm thankful for what I do have and I try not to place unnecessary importance on looks and things. I'd much rather be happy with the type of person I am on the inside than outside. But there are times when I think how nice it would be to have a complete makeover. Am I the only one that ever feels this way?

And speaking of makeovers, I have a serious urge to paint several rooms in our house right now. My hubby is not exactly Mr. Handy, so he's not a lot of help with projects like this -- they tend to make him grumpy. If I want to do it, I literally just have to go buy the supplies without discussing it with him and start doing it. It's just hard sometimes with the kids. Anyone else doing any painting or remodeling these days?

Well, I'm sure I've put anyone who is reading to sleep -- not feeling immensely creative with my post this morning, so I think it's time to go. One of these days perhaps I will actually add some photos to my blog, so you at least have something to look at other than my goofy face!

Enjoy the day ~ hope it's a great one!

Life is short...and goes so quickly

I am a procrastinator. I'm really not sure why. I don't like to be one, but I am. One thing I do that really bothers me is put off sending cards or making phone calls. I just don't make the time for it. Phone calls to family and friends are difficult at times unless my children are cooperating. But a card in the mail -- it's not that tough, and yet I plan to do it and I often don't.

About a year ago, we moved away from my relatives. We had the good fortune to move to my hometown in the summer of 2003. I was able to get reacquainted with the many aunts, uncles and cousins I had grown up with and my children had the chance to get to know their cousins. It was great. After a year and a half, we had to move due to my husband's job. It made me very sad to be leaving my family so soon. I didn't see them all the time, but it was nice knowing we were close and COULD see them when everyone's schedules permitted. And there were a few of them we saw pretty often.

While I was there, three of my cousins and I started going to dinner once a month. We're all in our thirties, have kids the same ages -- it was a nice break for each of us and just fun to visit and spend that time together. After I moved, the other girls quit making the effort to get together and it makes me really sad. In addition, I haven't talked to them much since I left. I tried for the first six months or so to call and keep up with them. Two of them I 've talked to several times. The third has a VERY busy schedule and I can never catch her. She hasn't returned any of my calls, and has maybe e-mailed me once. She's just not that type of person -- not sappy by any means and not the type to keep in touch. After feeling ignored, I was getting frustrated and had told my mom I was ready to give up. I told her I saw no reason to keep making the effort if it wasn't returned.

Last week, I found out this cousin has been diagnosed with cancer. She is my age (only six weeks older!) and it really shook me up. They think they've caught it in time and I'm hopeful and optimistic for her. But I'm also ashamed of myself for being ready to give up on keeping in touch.

Keeping in touch is a two-way street. We're all busy with our lives and it's not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes others don't reciprocate. But you know what? Life is too short. I love my family and my friends. I don't ever want them to think I've forgotten about them or that I don't care.

So I share all this with you because sometimes we need a reminder that whether it seems like it or not, I believe others appreciate it when we make an effort to stay in contact with them...let them know we're thinking about them. They may not return the effort -- they may not even appreciate it right away. But don't let time pass without reminding others how you feel. Some day, it may be too late.

I had so much fun!

Yesterday, I spent a good portion of the day on a "date" with my two oldest kiddos. We had SO much fun. We went to see "Curious George", which was really cute. They got their favorite movie snacks -- nachos for Ryan, popcorn for Rachel. There was one part of the movie that made Rachel cry (I felt so bad!) and when I peeked at Ryan his eyes were all watery. He caught me looking at him and got a little mad ~ I can tell he's getting older. There was no way he was going to be caught crying at a Curious George movie! It was sweet though.

After the movie we played in the arcade at the theater and my kids got to pick out some toys (cough, JUNK, cough) with their tickets that they won, which made them very happy. Then on to have ice cream and shopping at the Disney store. I even let them pick out something small at Disney -- we don't do that very often. All in all, a great "date" with my little monkeys! I can't wait for the next one!

Now as I sit here trying to type, all three of my little ones are alternately DEMANDING my attention (quite loudly, I might add!), so off for now. Enjoy your day -- it's Sunday, so find some time to relax!!

Foiled again!! Or maybe I'm stalling...

Tonight had the potential to be a perfect scrapping night for me. My DH came home in kind of a yucky mood and somehow, fell asleep before 7pm. He did wake up around 8:30ish and was up for about an hour, but then headed off to bed -- very unlike him, especially on a Friday! In a perfect world, my children should have been in bed by 9 or 9:30p, and had that happened, I would have had a quiet house all to myself to scrap in!

Of course, this is not a perfect world. The youngest took a late nap and was wired, so I just put him to bed at about 10:20p -- I still hear him jabbering to himself! I have the most darling picture of him (not that I'm biased or anything) that I was totally ITCHING to scrap earlier, but now I'm feeling so darn tired. Plus I have to get up early and get our taxes done in the morning. Sigh...I am not quite ready to pull my butt out of this computer chair, so I thought what the heck...I'll type a little.

Speaking of being tired...I have noticed that there are days when I feel tired all day long, but it's odd -- come bed time, if everyone else falls asleep before me (and of course, the kids usually do!), I all of a sudden have this urge to stay up and do something, just because I have a quiet house. I rarely have a quiet house. I think I feel like I'm wasting it if I just go to sleep. Is anyone else like this or am I just a goof?

(On second thought, don't answer that part about me being a goof!)

On that note...off to bed. That second wind I'm describing above just ain't comin' tonight, so sweet dreams everyone!

Wahoo!!!

My whining in my previous post paid off!!! My brain finally kicked into gear and I have figured out how to add links. Yeah, I'm a little slow sometimes...

So I've added a few...will add the rest later!!! WAHOO!

Time to get my rear in GEAR!

First, can I whine just a little??? I cannot for the life of me, add links to my blog!!! It has consumed way too much of my time and is frustrating the heck out of me!!! I have read the "how to add links" and tried what they are saying like six times now and also got some help from the wonderful Christi Snow and I still can't make it work -- aaaaaaarrrghhhh! (Okay -- whining over!)

This morning I need to run some errands, and then come home and get as much cleaning done today as possible. As far as errands, my first stop -- Target. I need two things at Target. Anyone want to place bets on whether or not I will actually get out of Target with JUST two things?? Never happens -- probably never will! After that it's on to Hobby Lobby where adhesive is on sale. Can't pass up an adhesive sale. Any bets on if I will leave Hobby Lobby with just adhesive??

As to the cleaning, sometimes I wonder why I bother. First, I am starting to think my children have formed a secret society and they have secret meetings on how to foil any of my efforts. I think they've determined that if I'm cleaning a bathroom, they should take advantage of that time to trash the living room. Then as I clean the living room, they move on to trash yet another area of the house -- it's a vicious cycle. And can I just say DH is not much better. "Neat" is not a word he comprehends. Quite frustrating -- but such is life I guess.

I also hope to work on some Design Team layouts for Croppers Cottage. I've completed my assignments for March, but I'm not sure I am completely happy with one page in particular. Might do a couple of new ones to see if I come up with something I like better.

Anyhow, now that I've put you to sleep...I hope whatever is on your agenda today, that you have a great day -- and enjoy your weekend!

Just my luck...

So on Tuesday, I was having a very "thoughtful" day. Ideas and things rushing through my head that I really needed to get on paper, which is why I finally took the plunge on this whole blogging thing. I figured I needed a place to put my thoughts in writing. However I didn't set up my blog until Wednesday...and guess what? Not feeling so "thoughtful" these past couple of days. Not much in the mood to write.

I've noticed this with my latest batch of scrapbook pages. I LOVE to journal usually. It's my favorite part of the page a lot of times. But the last several I've done have been without much journaling. Just not in the mood. I hate that. I know not every page has to have volumes of heartfelt writing, but it feels odd to me when I'm in one of these writing "funks".

So here I sit, hoping my thoughtful mood returns -- and that when it does, I have time to do something about it, instead of letting it come and go!

bear with me!

I just added the link to my blog to my signature line at Croppers Cottage. Should any of my dear Cottage buddies happen to stop by, please bear with me -- I am just starting my online rambling fest and am still figuring it all out!

And if you do stop by -- thanks!

What's with the name??

So I've done it! I decided to try this blogging business. We'll see how it goes.

I feel like I'm writing to myself, but if by some miracle someone decides to read my ramblings, you may be wondering why I chose this name for my blog.

The past few days, I've been pondering whether or not to have a blog at all. I've also been wondering what I would call it. I considered something inspiring or "deep" -- but then for some reason, I started thinking about my love for 80s music and wondered if I could come up with a title that was a line (cheesy or otherwise) from an 80s tune. This line from the Starship song "We Built This City" popped into my head and it immediately felt like the right choice. (Although, the song may actually be from the 90s, but you get my drift...)

There was a time I liked this song and I admit that I still find it somewhat catchy. But truthfully the song IS pretty cheesy and this line from the song reminds me more of an old friend of mine than of the song itself.

This friend of mine used to make fun of the song by using the line "knee deep in the hoopla" in regular conversation. He is one of those people who is completely goofy, but so lovable. He just kind of drifts through life and without putting forth much effort, things always seem to fall into place for him. You want to hate him because things seem so easy, but he's impossible to hate because he's funny and silly and lovable. I haven't talked to him or seen him in ages, and I miss him! So I guess my title is a tiny little tribute to him, wherever he may be! I am guessing he is still drifting happily through life, amidst whatever hoopla comes his way!

I also looked up the definition of the word hoopla and some words that jumped out at me were "chaos" "confusion" "boisterous" -- while I am by no means a boisterous person, my life feels pretty chaotic most days, and my family can be quite boisterous.

So there you have it -- and if you're actually reading this, thanks for humoring me and joining me in this blogging hoopla!