I Need....

to lighten up.

I need to take a deep breath.

I need to calm down.

I need to be patient.

Today, I took all three kids to the grocery store. I hadn't done that in a while and I was quickly reminded why I hate taking all THREE of them to the store. They ask for too much, they don't pay attention to what's going on around them and then get in other people's way. They constantly touch things when I have said 452 times, please don't touch anything. They ask me over and over -- "How many more things do we need? I'm bored!" By the time we get to the checkout I am hot, grumpy and snapping at all of them and hoping that I never, ever have to grocery shop again in my life.

Today, we got to the car and poor little Nick -- he struggles with communication and I know it and I try to be patient. But sometimes, I just want him to hear me -- to get what I'm saying -- and to do what I'm asking. But he just doesn't get it or doesn't listen at times and I want to pull all my hair out. Especially after a stressful trip like today's adventure at the grocery store.

Sadly, it was a juice box that set me over the edge this afternoon -- a stupid little juice box.

I had a cooler of drinks in the car and I gave Nick a juice box. I said to him again and again, "DON'T squeeze it." And what does he do each time he grabs it? Yes -- he squeezes it. Juice spurts onto the floor, on his lap, on his brother. I am getting so irritated and my voice is rising as I continue to tell him, "NO! Don't SQUEEZE it!" And each time I say it, my oldest son is getting upset because I'm getting irritated and my little guy is clearly not sure what the problem is. So my oldest starts yelling at me, "Just don't give it to him Mom! Please don't give it to him!" And I am determined to make Nick understand me and then Nick just bursts into tears. The saddest most heart-wrenching tears that break my heart and make me go -- WOW! What is wrong with me???

I have got to calm down. I have got to relax. I have got to have fun. And I have got to let the negative things that are forever in my household not affect me like they do. But it's such a struggle. Truly a struggle. Some days, I do not rise above. And I want to rise above -- every single day. Life is too darn short.

I do not mean to be a downer -- but it is just one of those days.

On a much happier note -- I have taken well over 500 or 600 photos this past month. I know that sounds crazy, but we have had so much going on and I have gotten some fun, fun pictures. Surely the photos from this past month alone will give me plenty of great things to blog about in the coming days. Things that aren't quite so gloomy.

I apologize for being scarce -- it really has been hectic at our house. But I do hope to catch up with all of you soon.

Enjoy the rest of the week!